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[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Correspondence

voice ✦ text ✦ in-person

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Comments

Re: Text

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Just a minor stabbing from a disgruntled former employee. Nothing to be worried about.

[ it was something to be worried about ]

You've had a more friendly visitors?

Re: Text

[atowncalledtreffy]

Something like that.


You get it treated? You booked it out of there pretty quick.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

The stabbing was really incidental to-- other issues. My warden has seen fit to ensure that if I wish someone harm I feel pain. Being stabbed really did not endear me to that person, as you can imagine.

And I've never been one for lying around with my feet up.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Oh, lovely. My warden's seen fit to steal all of my weapons and make it fucking impossible for me to stop anyone not directly killing me.

Which is actually part of the reason I'm here. Wanted to ask you a favor.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Of course, what can I do for you?

[atowncalledtreffy]

Well, I don’t know if it’ll work now that I know about the curse your warden put on you, but I was hoping to find someone for some experiments. Testing what constitutes “harm” or “self defense” or any of that shit.

And see if we can’t get around it.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Important to discover the limits of this restriction, I agree. Do you have to feel your life is threatened? Does someone else have to be actively trying to kill you? What if someone accidentally kills you?


I'm curious as to how exactly you'd like me to help?

[atowncalledtreffy]

All good questions that I don't have an answer to. Yet.

I was going to ask if you wanted to try murdering me a few dozen times until we could figure this out, but it sounds like your curse would fuck that up.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias smiles to himself ]

I'm quite capable of attempting to murder you without wishing you all that much harm.

[atowncalledtreffy]

That's what I was hoping you'd say.

So - you in?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Of course.

Though-- I would like to reserve the right to ask you a favour at some point in return.

[atowncalledtreffy]

I thought stopping the lunchroom harassment would be favor enough.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I think I'll have to insist. You're free to say no to whatever I ask, when I ask.

[atowncalledtreffy]

No, sorry. The last time I tried to do a no-questions-asked favor, it involved covering up a child-murderer's crimes. I'm not doing favors.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

A little hypocritical of you, wouldn't you say?

[atowncalledtreffy]

I'm not doing favors where I don't know what the end game is for them.

I'll go drinking with you, I'll take some of your kitchen shifts, I'll let you beat me up so we can figure these curses out, but I don't trust anyone anymore to not come up with something awful and fucked-up.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

As I said. You reserve the right to decline the favour I ask you, or to ask any questions you like.

I'd ask now, but I simply haven't thought about it.

[atowncalledtreffy]

You know I'd do most favors regardless of whether I owed you anything.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Then I fail to see what the problem is.

[atowncalledtreffy]

I'm not ending up a distraction for something bigger.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias does not enjoy that that actually hurts a little ]

There's no danger of that. I prefer using distractions who are much prettier than you.

[atowncalledtreffy]

I can be pretty.

And I literally have nothing except my body to stand in the way of knives aimed at your back and I would fucking do that anyway, you godforsaken librarian.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ well that's. unexpected. ]

You're in no danger of being asked that of me either, for the record. Not just at present.

[atowncalledtreffy]

You don't have to ask that, that's the point.

How about, in exchange, I tell you what you want to know about me. All the little bits of stories I'd been feeding you.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Why don't we jump right to seeing how much harm you can do and iron out the fine details later.