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[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

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[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Apologetic wasn't on the cards.

[littletonoidea]

Well, there's your problem. You're self-aware enough to be an asshole about it but not human enough to wanna start working on it.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I don't intend on threatening him that way again.

[ this counts as working on it, surely. ]

[littletonoidea]

And I don't inteeeeeeend [with as much lilting, scornful derision as he can] to make another pop reference again. Except for the parts where I totally do, but it's totally okay because if I say sorry really politely it means I'm totally in the clear and no-one's gonna wanna bash my head in again!

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias really, really would like to sigh dramatically. ]

I've no need to coerce Mr. Folgate into blowing anything else up for me, and since he has come clean I can no longer blackmail him for his part in it. Really; I can almost certainly promise it won't happen again.

[littletonoidea]

One day we'll get you to the point where blackmail isn't your first port of call. You could always just try asking.

...as long as it's not like. Blatantly evil.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

And what would you term blatantly evil?

[ also he did ask first, ok ]

[littletonoidea]

Anything to do with the Fab Fourteen, really. But also trying to manipulate people into, like. Causing more mass destruction? We'll take it case by case.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

May I remind you that I am, as a part of my very existence aligned with the Eye.

[littletonoidea]

I mean, we could just make you not. I don't wanna do it as punishment, that just feels mean, but if you ever want a reminder of what's it like being on the losers' side, option's there.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Make me not?

[ Eiffel you've lost him, what are you even suggesting ]

[littletonoidea]

Oh, yeah, I can ask the Admiral to make you a real boy. Full species lift, none of the hassle.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias has no control the fear that comes over him.

this? this is why elias loathes what the admiral claims to be able to do. ]

I'd take oblivion first.

[littletonoidea]

[Yeah, don't worry Elias, Eiffel hears that venom and hones right in on it.]

Hey, it wouldn't be that bad, right? You used to be human before, you've been human when the Barge plays alternate-universe Barbie Dolls with us. You're not gonna just drop dead. What's wrong with that?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Whatever I have been while the Admiral engaged in his alternate universe fantasies has not changed what I am.

[ it's-- not exactly a coherent answer, he's still recoiling in horror ]

[littletonoidea]

Okay but - you were a human. Like. That's not subtext, Bouchard.

[And he slaps the file with the back of his hand.]

And you're still made of completely human parts. Even if you're a horrifying Frank-Eye-nstein.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ Elias grimaces and runs a hand across his forehead, trying to regain control of himself. he is feeling s t r e s s e d ]

It's not-- as simple a matter as flesh and blood. I'm not like the Archivist, who now subsists entirely on fear-- but take it as the truth when I say that there is more at work here, Douglas, than is dreamt of in your philosophy.

[littletonoidea]

[He grimaces.]

What, scared of losing your Wikipedia powers? Do you really think you're that worthless as a person if you're just a person?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ there's another non-sequitur seems to throw him. what does worth have to do with anything? ]

Why not simply ask the Admiral to make me into a good person? If you're going to propose fundamentally changing what I am, we might as well expedite the process.

[littletonoidea]

See, the thing is, I don't think he does free will. Otherwise you're not prisoners, you're slaves, and I think a lot of the current load of wardens wouldn't be here supporting that.

...I mean, we could ask and test it, but I kinda figured you'd hate the Stepford treatment more than being human.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I would no longer be myself in that case, and so the point would be moot.

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, see? You get it! But you as a human is still you, like- all your brains are still yours! It's just the creepy Eye crap you'd be losing.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

You don't seem to get it. I would not be myself, and your insistence otherwise won't change that.

[ douglas please, elias doesn't like any of this can we talk about something else ]

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, but how much of you only thinks that you're you because it can't see how much of you is the Eye? It's like a parasite, that weird mold that turns bugs into zombies.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Or perhaps you can't comprehend it because you've known of this for all of a week, while this has been my existence for over a century now.